Self Mastery: Big Keys To Unlocking A Happy Life

Self Mastery Will Unlock Your Goals, Dreams and the Extraordinary Life You Want.

If you want an extraordinary life, or even a good (slightly above average) life, you’re going to need to invest in your personal development. Period.

A good life is not handed to us on a silver platter!

We truly get what we deserve in this life and so the results we’re getting in all areas of our lives are the result of the ways we’ve been thinking, the ways we’ve been managing our emotions (or mismanaging our emotions) and the actions we’ve been taking (or not taking).

As the late great investor genius Charlie Munger said, “To get what you want you have to deserve what you want. The world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of undeserving people.”

And, my friends! The deservingness factor, for achieving whatever goal or dream you’ve got, whether it’s deeper connections in relationships, greater confidence, financial abundance, health and wellness, hobby and skills development, more happiness and more joy, or whatever it is, will come down to the work you’ve put in and the wisdom you’ve gained.

Investing in personal development and striving for self mastery is the key to unlocking goals and dreams.

But, a desperate and ungrateful mindset will keep you struggling and will push people away, ruining your chances of success, so to kick off these big keys to unlocking a happy life on your self mastery journey we need to begin with the behemoth called gratitude.

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude: This needs to be a daily practice!

Without taking ownership and control of our inner thoughts, our brains will resort to primitive instinctual thinking. The brain and mind, without us asking more of them, just slip into basic survival and death avoidance mode and that looks like simply being vigilant and being consumed with concerns, fears, anxieties, judgements, comparisons, jealousy, envy, anger, greed, and meanness (to others AND to ourselves).

A great way to neutralize the hamster wheel of negativity and take our power back, and reclaim our sanity, inner peace and joy, is to practice gratitude. Daily.

Focus in on at least three things, every single day, that you’re grateful for.

“I am grateful for ____.” Three things! Every day.

Say it out loud to make it more powerful and if you want to drive gratitude into your subconscious mind even deeper, write them down!

This is so important because without gratitude in your heart, you will struggle to attract and sustain success. And you will never enjoy it, either!

If you stick with this I promise you you will feel better and the world will receive you better.

Because practicing gratitude helps you attract, enjoy and sustain success! Meanwhile, without gratitude success can’t be felt and it will never be “enough”!

So with gratitude as your foundation, you’re primed to get to work on your goals, dreams, levelling yourself up and building the life you want from a place of abundance instead of lack.

With gratitude in the game, you’re less desperate and needy (Less of a Gollum from Lord of The Rings) and so talking about what it is you want and desire actually feels different, for you and for others, at that point.

It hits differently.

So, we can talk about desire now.

You’re going to need a lot of it!

For the goals and dreams you’ve got, who will you need to become in order to pull that off and how much do you want it?!

Amplify Your Desire

It’s been observed by everyone who’s studied high achievers that their level of desire is far greater than those who give up too early and those who make very little progress and fizzle out.

High achievers want it more than most!

And if you were conditioned to have “reasonable goals”, you’ll need to extract that conditioning and give yourself permission to think big and dream big again.

I’ll give you permission right now if you’ll receive it from me! You have permission to desire more!

It’s all too common that, as children, teens and even young adults, many people got told things like “Oh, stop it. You need to be reasonable” and “Who do you think you are?” or “You can’t do that.”

Whatever conditioning you received in your formative years that reinforced your fears and concerns and taught you to aim lower and just be humble… to just be grateful for what you’ve already got and knock it off with the goals and dreams… that all needs to be stripped from your consciousness!

Gratitude is so important! But, like everything else, even gratitude can cause harm when it’s overdone or over indulged in.

We’ve gotta be willing to take the warm cozy blanket of gratitude off and get to work on goals and dreams so that future us can be grateful for what we did today and tomorrow.

And desiring more and better does not make someone ungrateful.

Gratitude and desire can fuel each other.

The idea is to be grateful for what you’ve already got while also empowering yourself to envision a better more beautiful life for yourself, take action and then have even more to be grateful for in the future.

And developing yourself and becoming a more exceptional human who’s capable of more generosity, presence, calm, love and who has more quality time, wisdom, strength and leadership to offer, is maybe the greatest gift and service you can give to others, so embrace your desire for better, for more, for greater, and dive into desiring that stuff with everything you’ve got!

Then, commit!

Commit Fully! Commit 100% To Your Goals So Your Self Mastery Isn’t Just A Pipe Dream.

Once you’ve given yourself permission to desire shooting for the moon, it’s time to fully commit and make it a goal. Not just a fantasy. Not just a “that would be so nice” type of thought. That’s not gonna get you anywhere.

Make it a “I’m going to do whatever it takes to make this happen!” type of thing.

This is important! Because a committed person will do things that a casual dreamer just won’t do.

If you’re truly committed to amplifying your desire, for instance, you’ll be willing to write out your goals every single day with pen and paper to drive them further into your consciousness and make sure you don’t forget what you’re working towards, and why.

And again, you might need to give yourself permission to commit at the 100%, all in, whatever it takes “I ain’t quitting!” level of commitment. So, with the power invested in me as a high performance personal development coach who’s single handedly helped many people break through various ceilings on their way to their next levels in various areas of their lives, and who’s also pulled off tremendous transformation in my own life by applying the same proven principles that I share with clients, I grant you permission to fully 100% commit to your goals and dreams!

Be unreasonable, my friend. Switch from wishful or humble thinking, to empowered “I can do this! And I WILL do this!” thinking.

“F*** it! I’m all in!”

Take it from Jim Carrey: “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

And realize and embrace that you literally can only fail, in the truest sense of failing, when you quit.

So, in committing, you just need to make a decision that you will not quit, and then work hard and work smart until success is yours.

And in order to truly commit, you’re going to need to be clear on what you’re committing to.

Get Very, Very Clear. Mastery Of Anything Requires Great Clarity.

Who are you?

What do you stand for?

What are your values?

Why do those things matter to you?

What are you grateful for? (Gratitude is important! Just make sure to let it coexist with the next question.)

What exactly is it that you want to achieve?

How will it feel when you achieve it?

How will you know when you’ve achieved it?

What will you be missing out on if you don’t sort that out?

What benefits will you enjoy when you do make it happen?

Why is this important to you?

Why now?

Who else will benefit from this achievement?

Who else will suffer if you don’t do this?

Why are you absolutely 100% committed to this?

When you know the powerfully motivating and action fuelling answers to those and other questions, you will find it easier to keep yourself on the path to your desired outcome when drama, distraction and discouragement enter the picture.

You’ll know where to focus your time and energy, and you’ll know the actions and options to avoid because they don’t align with or support your vision.

Whenever motivation runs dry, and it will, you’ll be able to reflect on your “why” and persist with the work.

But, distraction, drama and discouragement are real nemesis’ that all thrivers and winners face on their path to great results, and even the strongest most powerful “why” will be obliterated by those nemesis’ unless you master emotional regulation!

To build a good or extraordinary life you just can’t be spending much time licking your wounds. You’ve gotta stay strong, stable, productive and making progress.

You’ll need to develop emotional regulation, and high level emotional intelligence, so that you won’t self-sabotage your way out of all your goals and dreams.

Otherwise you’ll constantly be going 2 steps forward, 2 steps back!

Develop Emotional Regulation. You Owe It To Yourself, Your Goals & Dreams, And Everyone You Love To Develop High Level Emotional Regulation.

The ability to remain calm and rational under pressure.

This, right here, when it’s not sorted out is the thing that destroys more dreams, and relationships, and prevents more goals from being achieved than anything else! Hands down.

Your ability to manage your thoughts and feelings is going to be the biggest determining factor in your success or failure, in any endeavour you ever pursue!

There will be opposing forces pushing back against you no matter what it is you’re working on.

Some will come from circumstances, bad luck, being in the right place or meeting the right person but at the wrong time (not being prepared), the economy, your old reputation coming back to haunt you (bad karma), rejections, setbacks, having the right idea but the wrong strategy, getting good at the wrong things, dealing with aggression or sabotage from others, etc.

But, the most hazardous force pushing back against a person is… themself! Because it is not what happens to us that determines our fate, but how we react to it. And self-sabotage from lacking emotional regulation is easily the main culprit taking down goals and dreams all around the world on a daily basis.

Self-sabotage is the result of allowing emotions to control you. And the solution is learning how to stay in control even when emotions flood your system. It’s in learning how to let emotions gently wash past you instead of being struck and pummelled by them like tsunamis.

What you’re thinking and feeling is probably 90% of most the success you’ll ever have. The other 10% is what you do. That’s because the way you think and feel will affect HOW you do whatever you do, and the how part matters a lot.

Emotional regulation looks like having the abilities to self-soothe and self-validate (to not be needy), and to remain clear, calm and productive even when inconvenient, problematic, frustrating or even traumatic things have been happening. It looks like knowing how to release stress and to maintain and generate good mental and physical energy while any unregulated person would be falling apart.

And while no one can sort your emotional regulation out for you, and it is no one else’s responsibility and no one is coming, and this is very much work that you’ll need take ownership of and you’ll need to do yourself (and I can help you with that as I’ve done this work myself and I’ve helped many others sort it out, too!), the people you spend the most time with will absolutely play a role in your success or failure as you strive for self-mastery and invest in your personal development.

Choose Your Friends Wisely. You Can’t Build An Exceptional Life With Negative, Low Frequency, Mediocre People Around You.

You’ve probably heard it said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

And “The Trillion Dollar Man” Dan Peña said, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”

Think about that really seriously!

If you’re committed to your personal development and self mastery, and to the life you desire, then commit to spending the most social interaction time with people you admire, who inspire you to be your best self, who believe in you, who want to see you succeed, and who are not pessimistic, negative or negative influences.

As Dana White says, “I cut people out like f***ing cancer. If you are a negative sack of sh** okay you’re gone. You’re outa here.”

This might sound kind of ruthless, but it’s not.

The truth is, it’s disrespectful and destructive to yourself to not cut low frequency people out of your life.

It is self-sabotage to spend time with people who bring you down, discourage you, complain, whine, are full of doubts and negative thoughts, drain you of energy and waste your time with their gossip and drama, and who are not working on themselves and growing.

You might even have to move forward lean, with few friends in your tribe until you find and connect with quality people who are in alignment with you. Then build friendships with those people!

And in order to make tough calls like that and weather that and other challenging decisions, you’re going to need to develop resilient confidence.

Develop Resilient Confidence. No Amount Of Talent, Skills, Hard Work, Or Opportunities Can Lift You If You’re Carrying The Weight Of Low Confidence.

This is MASSIVE. It can’t be exaggerated how important confidence is in terms of becoming a successful and thriving person.

It is not an overstatement to say that confidence is around 90% of the equation in terms of success.

Many people have done the hard work to develop great skills on the back of otherworldly genetic gifts and talents only to choke when great opportunities came their way. The truth is that no amount of knowledge, skill and talent will matter if you buckle under the pressures of self doubt and limiting beliefs.

So, to ensure that you’re not going to put a massive amount of work in only to crumble when great opportunities come your way, you’re going to want to become “unf*ckwithable”.

An opportunity is like a door appearing that leads to the results you’ve been working hard for, and unf*ckwithable confidence is the ability to kick that f’ing door in and stride through knowing you’re taking that opportunity! It’s yours!

You wanna get to the point where rejections are like bugs hitting your car’s windshield. They’re just a minor nuisance and easy to wipe away.

You wanna get to the point where you don’t chase love, you don’t need validation and nothing really phases you (or if something does bother you, you bounce back extremely fast, and you bounce back stronger!)

With unf*ckwithable confidence, instead of wilting and moping, you convert setbacks, rejections and failures into rocket fuel to move forward more determined than before!).

This takes emotional regulation to a whole new level and is the elusive mental space of thrivers and champions for whom virtually anything is possible.

And the real magic is in developing this mental toughness, this resilient confidence, while also keeping your heart and soul intact so that you not only resiliently press forward, but you also remain a good friend, a loving partner and a patient parent and leader.

Two things you can start doing right now to begin improving your confidence immediately:

• Stay the hell away from negative, discouraging, low energy, complaint-prone, gossipy, victim-mindset, lazy, quitters, and fear-focused people. And don’t share your goals and dreams with them. Don’t invite their negativity in!
• Stop doing things that damage your confidence. Could be sleepless nights that are affecting your mood and energy. Could be procrastinating. Could be saying you’ll do things and not doing them. If you notice you feel like sh** after doing something, stop doing it!

And even with all the confidence in the world, even the world’s highest performers can underestimate how much time and effort it’s going to take to reach their targets.

The truth is, it’s probably going to take way longer than you think it will to get the results you want!

Unless you 10X your effort and actions..!

10X Your Effort And Actions! Life Moves Quick, So Choose Quantum Leaps Of Growth Instead of A Snail’s Pace By 10X’ing Your Effort And Actions.

You are capable of incredible things. Far more than you can probably even imagine right now!

But, those incredible things are only going to come on the back of a lot of meaningful work.

One of the reasons a lot of people give up long before reaching their goals and dreams is because soon after they get started they realize how much they’d underestimated the work required to do it.

You’ve got to be more Stoic than Epicurean to pull off your big goals and dreams. And that means being willing to invest a lot of time, energy, resources and perhaps a lot of money and even your sanity at times early on in order to unlock great longterm outcomes.

If you’re willing to commit 100% and put in a lot of work for a year or two, maybe longer, then you’ll be able to achieve great things and breakthroughs and can unlock experiences and a life that most people will only ever be able to dream of.

So, really, how much do you want extraordinary results in your life? In your business? In your friendships? In your marriage? As a parent? As a leader? In your health?

Hopefully your answer to all of those question was A LOT. And if that’s the case then you’ve got to drop all excuses, let the past go, forgive yourself and others for whatever heavy crap you’re holding on to and just really focus in on the present moment and the future you want to create.

Forgive Yourself & Others. Let The Past Go! Focus On Making Now & The Future Great.

On your path to your goals and dreams, to self-mastery, you’ve got to shake off the weight of regret and resentment, of past hurts and rejections, and any and all bs you’ve been holding onto or it will slow you down and prevent you from working hard and productively enough.

Holding onto pains from the past is undermining your confidence!

So, you’ve got to give yourself permission to be done with the past.

You’ve carried that bs long enough.

Let it go.

Forgive yourself and others and shake off the regret and resentment that’s been weighing you down, making you feel like a victim, making you feel disempowered or less than, and has been distracting you with negative thoughts and feelings.

Let it go.

Again, maybe you need permission to do this, so, with the power invested in me as a high performance personal development coach and business coach with multiple certificates, lol, I give you permission to let the past go! Can you feel it?! 😛

Forgiveness is huge. Other people may or may not be grateful to receive it, but the most important thing is that it’s a gift you can give yourself to set yourself free!

Here’s something simple you can do right now to help. Close your eyes, and while you’re breathing deeply and calmly, repeat out loud 7 or more times these four pieces:

• “I’m sorry. Forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

That is a very healing practice created in ancient Hawaii that’s called Ho’oponopono.

Forgiveness and letting go of the past will set you free to flow into the present and build your future.

And you will need great people around you because NO ONE builds an incredible life, business, network, family, or inner circle without being great with people. And guess what? The great people you will want in your life will be chased away if you’re carrying a dark cloud around you of regret and resentment!

Get Really Good With People.

Do whatever you’ve got to do to get really good with people.

You cannot build an exceptional life without the support of other people! It’s impossible. And, ain’t no one running to support someone who they don’t know, like and trust.

You’ve got to become someone who people can know, like and trust, and then, if you really want an exceptional life, you’ve got to become that person to a lot of people.

You’ll need mentorships, collaborations and relationships.

And, here’s the truth! Getting there all starts with getting good with yourself, first!

So, if this is where you’re starting at then you’ve got to do whatever you’ve got to do to level up how much you like and love yourself, because how you view yourself is how others will view you.

“I’ll take care of me, for you, if you’ll take care of you, for me.” – The late great Jim Rohn on his mindset in relationships. He said the greatest gift you can give to a friend is working on yourself and to think of what it will do for your friendships if you become 10X stronger, 10X wiser, 10X more unique.

He said self-sacrifice earns contempt, but self-improvement and self-investment earn respect.

So take care of yourself and work on yourself, number one, if you want to attract good people and keep them around, believing in you, liking you, trusting you, respecting you, interested in investing time and effort in a relationship with you, and even directly supporting your goals and dreams.

Here’s a path to improving your people skills:

• Study psychology! A lot. I recommend primarily focussing on the relatively new domain of positive psychology as that will allow you to connect with people deeper and more positively than you can probably even imagine right now.

That will help you level up your communication skills and relationship skills, a ton!

I go deep into positive psychology with my high performance life personal development clients and the results are tremendous for them as they have been for me.

To get really good with people, and to attract really good people to you, you’ve got to get more interested in people and relationships, and you’ve got to become more interesting.

And instead of making the mistake that so many people make, which lands them almost 100% of the time in burnout and failure, stop trying to achieve self mastery and a good or extraordinary life by trial and error!

Grow Faster & Smarter! With Coaches & Mentors. Coaches And Mentors Can Help You Achieve Self Mastery and The Exceptional Life You Desire 10X Easier AND Quicker.

If you want to accelerate your progress to your next levels of self mastery and really shave off years of time to arrive at a good or extraordinary life much sooner, while facing far less friction, pain and stress, then I want to talk to you so book a call with me!

Let’s see if my coaching background, packages, resources and style offer just the right solution you’re needing to take your life to awesome new levels of self mastery and thriving at a pace that gets you there before you’re old and gray.

My coaching is highly effective for the right clients. I specialize in helping clients achieve growth far faster than they could possibly do it on their own and my model is pay-on-results. It’s performance-based. If you don’t get satisfactory results after our work together, you don’t pay!